When did the money-drain begin? When Troll broke his first window? Kicked holes in the walls. Bashed a hole in the bathroom door large enough to climb thru. Smashed the front bumper?
Or is it when he first stole from me. Cash from my wallet. Or my debit card missing. Guitars hawked at the pawn shop. The mountain bike ‘stolen’. Then the other mountain bike.
So much is a blur. I couldn’t get a grip on what was going on. I would shrug and ask myself, what’s next?
Or is it the time-suck? When I jeopardized my job and career for hours of clinical appointments? The visits to Children’s Hospital. The counseling appointments. Social worker appointments. Mediators. Support workers. Pier support workers. Teachers and teacher’s assistants, vice principals, principals, school counselors. Sick days, bullied days, anxiety days.
Add to that my counseling appointments. Counseling for my inability to cope. Plus all the blurred-out moments when I felt incapable and numb. And what about the lack of time provided to his sibling. Moss was always trumped by Troll’s bigger issues.
How can one put a monetary value to the loss? Is it not simply what you do for your child?